Love Doesn’t Hurt . PERIOD

Hey Mommas out there , I have been away from this spot for far to long its time to get back to myself and get back to spreading the word to others. I’ve been doing well (I’ll give a update on my self next post ) . This post however could not wait though… I can not let another day go by with out shouting the lyrics to lizzo’s Truth hurts record ” I took a DNA test and turns out um 100% that b*tch ” which is what I want you all to feel out there ! But the truth of the matter is that sometimes we don’t feel that way about our selves and sometimes we let others treat us like were UN worthy of true value or love.

As I was scrolling through Instagram the other day I saw a post that the rapper Nicki minija posted about How love should not hurt. It got me to thinking …Have I experienced these things she listed before? Have I seen someone close to me go through some of these things ? YES and YES .

Here’s the post below read it. Ask your self have you been through this? And then lets chat about it …

picture cred . @Theshaderoom

This is a no judge zone .. I realize that Self reflecting can be tough but Im so happy that Nicki minaj was BOLD enough to make this statement that most wouldn’t dare to speak out about. I personally have been through at least 4 of these things on that list. Matter of fact since this post is all about highlighting that love doesn’t hurt Im going to open up and say that I have been through EVERYTHING on this list except for #1 . In past relationships I have played ” The part” the girl who loves hard and gets knocked down even harder . I have made excuses for ex’s behavior , I’ve covered for a abuser, kept people in my life that made me feel awful about myself. I have since then taken mental notes of what a healthy relationship looks like…and although I am not perfect I am trying my best. I cant stress enough that if you love your self first whole hardly with your flaws and all then its very hard for a men/woman to pull this crap and continue to get away with it.

There is no way you should not be in a relationship were you are crying all the time, feeling self doubt , continuously wondering were your spouse is. Love should make you feel good. Love should make you want to conquer the world together. Take notice If you don’t feel any of those things in the relationship your in now THEN RUN get out now. Domestic abuse is NOT to be tolerated on any account . Reach out for help confide in someone who can help assist you with a exit plan. It is not your fault and I’m here to say you deserve better.

Most importantly In a time & age were social media is taking over …it’s becoming a more dangerous game to get online and see that someone has blasted your pictures all over the internet or slander your name. Don’t stand for that block and report that person and take action. Love your self first and everything else will work out. You are a boss ! You can achieve that goal you want ! You do look good in that dress !! Tell your self something good about your self everyday and that affirmation will start to give you the confidence that you need. So if you have been through anything on this list and it continues to happen to you….then leave . Make a exit plan and don’t look back. Cheating is unacceptable , domestic violence is a BIG NO- GO !! Your life and mental health is worth more then settling for less. I will list some information below for domestic violence hotline.

Until next time mommas

National Domestic violence hotline number

 1-800-799-7233 Chat w/ an advocate .

National abuse website https://www.thehotline.org/

Are You The Alternative Momma?

Do you feel like you get judged sometimes as a mom due to your appearance?

Do you share different beliefs that one might think prevents you from being a good mom?

Do you get stares because you may be in a single parent household

Well let’s talk then mommas, I’m sure we all have more in common then one would like to think. Let me just start off by saying this, I was a different woman before I had my son and even though I thought everything would change about me it didn’t. Sure I may not go out as much as I did before but there are sometimes I just want a break. A night out on the town to let my hair free maybe even have a couple of shots. Does that make me a bad mom? No, it doesn’t. I’m still capable of giving the same love to my child as anyone else. As mothers its already hard on us to be the supermoms we are, and once we throw society in that our views on motherhood are easily persuaded.

Back to this appearance thing ..one might take a look at me and make a judgment.I have facial piercings and a few small tattoos but I’m still kind and I promise I don’t bite. I would really hate to think that in the future when I’m setting up my Titans play dates, some mothers would be put off at the thought of hanging out with me or him because of appearance. I’m even all for blended families. It’s like 2018 we’ve got to loosen up as a society from those old myths of ” Good moms don’t have tattoos ” or those whispers of “If she was a good mother she would have took those piercings out “. No – Way! Being a mother doesn’t stop me from being self-expressive in ways that I find creative and it shouldn’t stop you either.

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T0P 4 reasons why being a mom is worth it

Valentines day is for all things love related . When your feeling over whelmed from being a mom remember that every day is worth it. lets jump right into it …

4 reasons why being a mom is worth it

As a first time mom my self, I am going through the grits of it all. Sleepless nights, early play times at 3 am plus more. That very moment that Titan has me feeling defeated I try to think back to why I signed up to be a mom in the first  place. Its stressful sometimes, as if the long hours of labor pains wasn’t enough. I can only think of one word , LOVE lots of unconditionally LOVE. There are many days when I don’t get to give much to my self. But when I know that my child is okay and smiling I know that my job has been well done. So take a deep breathe momma and exhale . .  Here is a cute little reminder of why your doing over time shifts with your little one.

YOU ALWAYS HAVE A FRIEND – You know that saying ” As long as I’m here your never alone” Well its right in ever way. Having a child keeps you on your toes, those little conversations you have on a daily with your child builds a friendship and a bond. Soon you and your child will have your own special lingo that no one but you guys will understand

  • OUTINGS  ARE MORE FUN – No more eating by your self at a restaurant if you don’t want to.  I personally have took Titan out to eat with me in a group setting and have loved the looks he gets in his cute little outfits or just how is eyes light up seeing all the different faces and lighting. Its like all the fun places you always said you cant wait to check out seem more funner with your child. The zoo, museums, Chuckie Cheese (Because what kid doesn’t love a good slice of pizza and a game ) just to name a few.
  • HOLIDAYS – I can’t picture the holidays with out my son. We just recently shared our first Christmas together  and it was very emotional for me . He is not 1 yrs old yet so he doesn’t understand the concept of Christmas . That didn’t stop me from wrapping the gifts as if he could open them though.  Another great holiday that makes motherhood feel worth it is Mothers day.   I will finally get to experience that day as a mom my self this year . The day that all super moms are celebrated for giving life. The holidays are all about family and being thankful . All those late nights and laundry loads you had to do seems worth it when your child comes up to you and says “Thank you mom you are the best”.  It feels good right ?
  • INSPIRATION – I am becoming more of a go- getter than I have ever been in my life. Do you remember life before you had your child ? Sure I miss those crazy wild nights out with my friends . Even though I remember more freedom to do pretty much what I wanted, with out having to worry about much consequences . Having a child grounds you in ways you’ve never felt before. You move more cautiously as you realize your choices in life now effect you and your little one. Titan makes me dig deep into what I want out of life and what I’m going to do to achieve it. I want stability and to be financially free. I want him to grow up and say ” Mom you’ve done a great job at raising me and making a life for us “. Our kids our the future , for there is no better promise than that its self.

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